When owners contact me about behaviour problems, the conversation almost always starts in the same place:

• “My dog is reactive.”
• “They’re constantly hyper.”
• “They won’t settle.”
• “They seem anxious.”
• “My recall has disappeared.”
• The natural question is usually:
• “What training should I do?”

Training is incredibly important. But there is another question that deserves just as much attention. is your dog’s body giving them the best chance to succeed?

Behaviour doesn’t happen in isolation. Your dog’s brain, nervous system, digestive system, hormones and physical health all work together.

If one part of that system isn’t functioning well, it can influence how easily your dog copes with everyday life.

That doesn’t mean changing food will magically solve behavioural problems. It won’t. But good nutrition can provide a stronger foundation for successful training.

Behaviour Starts Inside the Body

Imagine trying to stay calm after several nights of poor sleep while living on junk food. You probably wouldn’t be the best version of yourself.

• Your patience would be lower
• Your emotions would be harder to regulate
• Your concentration would suffer

Dogs are no different. A healthy body supports a healthy mind. When dogs feel physically well, they are often better able to recover from stress, regulate their emotions and learn new behaviours.

The Gut-Brain Connection

One of the most exciting areas of behavioural research is the relationship between the gut and the brain.

Scientists now know that the digestive system and nervous system are constantly communicating with one another.

The gut isn’t simply where food is digested. It also plays an important role in immune function, hormone production and emotional regulation.

Although research in dogs is still developing, maintaining good digestive health appears to support overall wellbeing.

If your dog is uncomfortable internally, it shouldn’t surprise us that their behaviour may also change.

It’s About More Than Protein

Many owners choose food by looking at one figure on the packet: usually the protein percentage.

While protein is important, it is only one small part of the picture. Food quality matters too.

• Can your dog digest it well?
• Are the ingredients nutritious?
• Does your dog maintain a healthy weight, good stools, a shiny coat and steady energy levels?

Two foods with similar labels can produce very different results.

The goal isn’t to buy the most expensive food. It’s to find the food that suits your individual dog.

Healthy Fats Matter

Healthy fats play an important role throughout the body, particularly within the brain and nervous system.

Omega-3 fatty acids have received particular attention because of their role in supporting brain health, cognitive function and healthy inflammatory responses.

Many owners notice improvements in coat condition after increasing omega-3 intake. Some also report that their dogs seem calmer or recover more quickly after stressful situations.

Nutrition alone won’t change behaviour. But giving the brain the nutrients it needs makes good behavioural health more achievable.

Don’t Overlook Pain

Sometimes the problem isn’t training at all. It’s discomfort.

Pain is one of the most overlooked causes of behavioural change. A dog with arthritis may suddenly dislike being touched. Dental pain may make them reluctant to eat. A sore back may make them reactive when another dog jumps on them. Ear infections, digestive discomfort and joint disease can all influence behaviour.

Whenever a dog’s behaviour changes suddenly, it is always worth asking whether there could be an underlying medical reason. Sometimes the kindest behavioural intervention is a visit to your veterinary surgeon.

Sleep Is Behavioural Medicine

Owners often ask me how much exercise their dog needs. Far fewer ask how much sleep they need. Yet sleep may be one of the most powerful behavioural tools available. Without enough rest, stress accumulates.

Recovery becomes slower. Impulse control becomes harder. Emotions become more difficult to regulate.

Just like people, dogs need time to recover physically and mentally.

More Exercise Isn’t Always Better

One of the biggest myths in dog ownership is that every behavioural problem can be solved by more exercise.

Exercise is important. But constantly trying to exhaust your dog can sometimes create an athlete that simply needs even more exercise tomorrow.

Instead of asking how you can make your dog more tired, ask how you can help them become calmer.

Alongside physical exercise, dogs benefit from:

• Sniffing
• Gentle exploration
• Chewing
• Licking
• Quiet time
• Recovery

A calm dog isn’t always a tired dog. More often, they’re a well-regulated dog.

There Is No Miracle Diet

Every year, another product appears claiming to cure anxiety, aggression or hyperactivity. If only it were that simple.

Behaviour is influenced by many different factors.

• Training
• Genetics
• Health
• Sleep
• Environment
• Previous experience

Nutrition is one piece of that puzzle. An important piece. But still only one piece. No food can replace good training, clear communication or a strong relationship.

Think About the Whole Dog

Whenever I assess a behaviour case, I don’t just look at the unwanted behaviour. I look at the whole dog.

• What are they eating?
• How much sleep are they getting?
• How much exercise?
• How much recovery?
• Have they recently had a veterinary health check?
• How quickly do they recover after stressful situations?

Behaviour is rarely caused by one single thing. It’s usually the result of lots of small factors working together.

The Bottom Line

If your dog is struggling with behaviour, don’t only ask: “What training do they need?”

Also ask: “Is my dog’s body giving them the best chance to succeed?”

Good nutrition won’t replace training. But it can help provide a healthier brain, a healthier nervous system and a healthier body.

And when you combine that with calm, consistent training, appropriate exercise, plenty of recovery and a strong relationship, you give your dog the very best chance of becoming the calm, confident companion you’ve always wanted.

When most people think about dog training, they imagine teaching commands such as sit, stay, or come.

While these are useful skills, they only scratch the surface of what good training really achieves. Done correctly, training isn’t about controlling your dog.

It’s about helping them understand the world they live in, building a stronger relationship between the two of you, and giving them the skills they need to make good decisions throughout their life. In many ways, training is one of the greatest gifts we can give our dogs.

Training Strengthens Your Relationship

Dogs evolved alongside humans for thousands of years. During that time, they weren’t simply bred to obey people. They were bred to work with people.

Whether herding sheep, retrieving game, guarding livestock or simply living alongside families, dogs that paid attention to humans and responded to guidance were more successful. Modern pet dogs still carry that history.

When you train your dog, you are doing far more than teaching a behaviour. You are creating a language that both of you understand.

Every successful training session builds communication, trust and confidence. Over time, your dog begins to look towards you for guidance rather than trying to solve every situation alone. That relationship becomes incredibly valuable when life becomes unpredictable.

Training Creates Clear Communication

Imagine moving to a country where you don’t speak the language.

People wave their arms, shout words you don’t understand and become frustrated when you don’t respond correctly. That would be a confusing and stressful experience. Yet this is often how life feels for many dogs.

Without training, they are left to guess what we want:

• Should they greet the visitor?
• Ignore the squirrel?
• Walk beside us?
• Stay where they are?
• Return when called?

Training removes that uncertainty. Instead of constantly guessing, your dog learns clear cues that explain what behaviour is expected in different situations.

Rather than simply saying “No!”, we can tell our dog exactly what to do instead. That clarity reduces confusion, lowers frustration and allows dogs to make better decisions.

Training Builds Impulse Control

Many behavioural problems are not caused by disobedience. They are caused by poor impulse control.

Dogs naturally want to chase movement, investigate smells, run towards other dogs, jump up at visitors, react to exciting situations etc. Training helps develop the ability to pause before acting.

Exercises such as wait, leave, place, heel and recall all strengthen a dog’s ability to stop, think and choose a calmer response.

Over time, these repeated exercises don’t simply teach behaviours. They help create a dog that is more emotionally regulated and capable of making better decisions when distractions appear.

Training Gives Dogs More Freedom

Ironically, one of the best ways to give your dog more freedom is to teach them boundaries. A reliable recall means your dog can safely enjoy more off-lead time. A calm heel allows you to walk through busy areas with confidence.

Good impulse control means your dog can be trusted around people, children and other animals. Well-trained dogs often experience more of life because their owners can safely include them in more situations.

Training doesn’t restrict freedom. It creates it.

Training Builds Confidence

Learning new skills helps dogs become more confident. Each successful experience teaches them that they can solve problems, understand their owner and navigate new situations successfully.

This is particularly important for nervous or anxious dogs. Confidence rarely develops through constant reassurance alone. It develops through repeated success. Training provides those successes.

Each small achievement becomes another positive experience that helps your dog feel more capable and secure.

Training Supports Emotional Regulation

Training plays an important role in developing emotional regulation. Dogs learn how to disengage from distractions:

• Recover after exciting situations
• Remain calm around people and other dogs
• Wait patiently
• Make thoughtful decisions

Over time, these repeated experiences help strengthen calmer behavioural patterns.

The goal isn’t simply to create a dog that follows commands. The goal is to create a dog that thinks clearly before acting.

Dogs Enjoy Training

Perhaps the biggest misconception of all is that training is something dogs tolerate for our benefit.

In reality, most dogs genuinely enjoy learning when training is done well. Dogs are intelligent, curious animals. They naturally enjoy solving problems, earning rewards and interacting with the people they trust.

Good training provides:

• Mental stimulation
• Predictable communication
• Opportunities for success
• Social interaction
• Positive experiences with their owner

Many dogs become visibly excited when a training session begins because they know something enjoyable is about to happen.

Training is not a chore. For many dogs, it is one of the highlights of their day.

The Parent-Child Relationship

One of the simplest ways to think about dog training is to compare it to raising a child.

Good parents don’t create rules to control their children. They create them to keep them safe, help them understand the world and prepare them to make good decisions as they grow.

The same is true for dogs. When we teach recall, we are protecting them from roads. When we teach impulse control, we are helping them manage excitement. When we teach calmness around other dogs, we are making social interactions safer and less stressful.

Rules, when taught fairly and consistently, don’t reduce freedom. They provide security. Dogs thrive when they know what is expected of them.

Training Is About More Than Obedience

The very best training doesn’t produce a robot. It produces a confident, emotionally regulated dog that enjoys working with their owner because the relationship itself has become rewarding:

• Commands become conversations
• Boundaries become security
• Training becomes part of everyday life

And over time, something remarkable happens. Your dog stops looking at training as something you ask them to do.

Instead, they begin looking to you for guidance because working together has become the most rewarding choice they can make. Ultimately, that is the real purpose of dog training.

Not perfect obedience. But a calmer dog, a more confident owner and a relationship built on trust, communication and understanding

There are very few words in dog training that generate as much disagreement as the word leadership.

Mention it at a seminar, on social media, or in a conversation between trainers and you will often receive completely different reactions. Some people immediately think of guidance, trust and responsibility. Others hear the word and picture dominance, intimidation and outdated ideas about “being the alpha.”

Some trainers avoid the word altogether. Others use it constantly. Many owners simply become confused.

Over the years, I have come to realise that the problem is not really the word itself. The problem is that we have all quietly developed different definitions of what leadership means.

That matters because words shape the way we think. If two people are using the same word to describe completely different ideas, they will inevitably end up arguing with one another. One person may be defending guidance and responsibility, while the other is rejecting force and intimidation. They are not actually discussing the same thing, even though they both believe they are talking about leadership.

Personally, I think that is a shame. Not because I think every trainer should use the word, but because I believe an important idea has become buried beneath years of misunderstanding.

The Pendulum Swung

Like many subjects, dog training evolves. Ideas are challenged. Research develops. Better evidence becomes available. Sometimes we discover that things we once believed were incomplete or simply wrong. That is exactly how science should work.

There was a time when much of dog training was heavily influenced by theories surrounding dominance and social hierarchy. Owners were encouraged to establish themselves as the “alpha” by winning confrontations, physically correcting unwanted behaviour, or trying to prove that they were somehow above their dog in a family hierarchy.

Looking back, it is understandable why many of those ideas have been criticised. Our understanding of wolves has improved considerably since many of those theories first became popular, and our understanding of domestic dogs has developed alongside it. Dogs are not simply wolves living in our homes, and relationships between dogs are far more flexible and nuanced than many early explanations suggested.

As the science changed, however, something else happened: the pendulum swung.

Instead of simply rejecting outdated ideas about dominance, many people rejected the idea of leadership altogether. Somewhere along the way, the two concepts became merged into one, as though rejecting one required abandoning the other.

I have never believed that. In fact, I think leadership and dominance are almost opposites.

One is about power. The other is about responsibility.

The Parenting Analogy

When I wrote Reactive to Regulated, I found myself returning repeatedly to the idea that good dog ownership often has far more in common with good parenting than it does with controlling another animal.

That comparison still feels right to me today. Think about the best parents you have known. Perhaps they were your own parents. Perhaps they were somebody else’s. Perhaps they were a teacher, a grandparent or another adult who had a positive influence on your life.

Chances are they did not spend every day reminding children who was in charge, nor did they did not look for opportunities to win arguments, and they did not mistake fear for respect.

Instead, they created clarity, established routines, set boundaries, and they explained expectations.

When mistakes happened, they responded consistently rather than emotionally.

Most importantly, they gradually helped children develop the ability to make good decisions for themselves.

Surely that is what we should want for our dogs as well. The goal is not lifelong dependence, and the goal is not unquestioning obedience. The goal is not to create a dog that simply waits to be told what to do every few seconds.

Surely the real goal is to raise a dog that is increasingly capable of making good decisions because we have spent time teaching them how. That has always felt much closer to leadership than domination.

Leadership Is Often Quiet

One of the most interesting things I have noticed over the years is that the owners I admire most rarely look particularly impressive from the outside.

They are not constantly issuing commands, repeatedly reminding the dog who is in charge, and are not trying to control every movement their dog makes.

If anything, they often appear to be doing less. An in doing this their dogs seem settled, and they move through the world together with very little drama.

When together communication is quiet, decisions are predictable, and both owner and dog seem to understand one another.

It reminds me of watching an experienced teacher in a classroom. Good teachers rarely need to raise their voice.

Not because they are naturally intimidating, but because they have created an environment where expectations are understood. The classroom feels calm because the teacher feels calm. The pupils know where they stand, and that predictability allows everyone to concentrate on learning.

Dogs are no different. When life becomes predictable, many dogs relax. When expectations are consistent, many dogs become more confident. When owners become calmer, dogs often follow.

I do not think that is dominance. I think that is leadership.

Leadership Is About Responsibility

Perhaps this is where I differ from both sides of the debate.

I do not believe leadership is about being in charge, I believe it is about accepting responsibility.

• If my dog is frightened, it is my responsibility to help them feel safe
• If they are overwhelmed, it is my responsibility to recognise it
• If they need guidance, it is my responsibility to provide it
• If they need boundaries, it is my responsibility to set them fairly and consistently

That does not make me more important than the dog. It simply acknowledges that I am the one with the greater understanding of the world we are asking them to live in.

• Dogs do not choose to understand traffic
• They do not choose to understand veterinary treatment
• They do not understand why they cannot chase every squirrel, greet every dog or eat everything they find on the pavement

Those decisions fall to us. That is not power – that is responsibility.

The Missing Ingredient

The more dogs I have worked with, the less I have become interested in whether owners describe themselves as leaders. Instead, I find myself watching something else:

• How do they make their dog feel?
• Are they predictable?
• Are they fair?
• Are they emotionally consistent?
• Can the dog trust them?
• Do they create calm or confusion?

Those questions tell me far more about the relationship than any label ever could.

Perhaps this is one of the reasons my own thinking has gradually shifted towards emotional state over the years.

The dogs that appeared to have the strongest relationships with their owners were not necessarily the most obedient.

Nor were they the dogs with the most impressive training. They were often the dogs that seemed most secure, trusted the person beside them, recovered more quickly from challenges, and they looked to their owner for information rather than acting in panic.

In many ways, those owners had become exactly what good parents become for children – a safe place.

Not because they controlled everything. But because they provided stability when the world became uncertain.

Does The Word Even Matter?

Sometimes I wonder whether we have spent so long arguing about the word leadership that we have forgotten to discuss the qualities it was supposed to describe.

If somebody dislikes the word, that is perfectly fine:

• Use guidance
• Use partnership
• Use relationship
• Use mentorship

The label itself matters very little to me.

What matters is whether our dogs experience us as calm, consistent, predictable and trustworthy. Those qualities will always matter, regardless of what we choose to call them.

Final Thoughts

I suspect the debate surrounding leadership will continue for many years.

There will always be people who associate the word with outdated ideas, just as there will always be people who use it to describe something far more thoughtful.

Personally, I have become less interested in the terminology and more interested in the outcome.

• If our dogs feel safer because of our presence…
• If they become calmer because our behaviour is predictable…
• If they learn more effectively because we provide clarity rather than confusion…
• If they develop confidence because we gradually teach them how to navigate the world…

…then I believe we are fulfilling one of the most important responsibilities of dog ownership.

Call it leadership if you wish. Call it guidance if you prefer.

The dog will never care what we call it. They will only ever experience what it feels like to live with us. And perhaps that is the only definition that really matters.

When people discover that I have spent more than a decade working with dogs and have worked with thousands of them, they often assume I have learned a great deal about canine behaviour.

They’re absolutely right.

Dogs have taught me about communication, learning, emotional regulation, relationships, body language, motivation, stress, resilience, and trust. They have taught me how behaviour develops, how it changes, and how small differences in environment and experience can have a profound impact on the way an individual responds to the world around them.

What I didn’t expect when I first started this journey was how much dogs would teach me about people.

Because while my work is often described as dog training or behaviour work, the reality is that every dog comes attached to a human being or two. Behind every barking dog, every reactive dog, every anxious dog, and every dog struggling with behaviour problems is a person trying to do their best.

After working with thousands of families, certain patterns begin to emerge. Some of those patterns relate to dogs. Many of them relate to human nature.

Most People Care More Than They Give Themselves Credit For

One of the biggest lessons I have learned is that most owners care far more than they realise.

By the time somebody contacts a behaviour specialist, they are rarely at the beginning of their journey. More often than not, they have already spent months, and sometimes years, trying to solve the problem themselves. They have read articles, watched videos, attended classes, spoken to friends, sought advice online, and often worked with previous trainers or behaviourists.

Many arrive feeling frustrated. Some arrive feeling exhausted. Others arrive carrying a great deal of guilt. Yet despite all of that, they are still trying.

Over the years I have met people who have changed their working hours, altered family routines, cancelled holidays, avoided social events, and spent significant amounts of money because they wanted to help their dog. I have met owners who have cried during consultations because they were worried about their dog’s future. I have met owners who felt embarrassed to walk their dog in public but continued showing up day after day because they refused to give up.

The image that is sometimes portrayed of dog owners as lazy, irresponsible, or unwilling to put in the work simply does not match the reality I see most days.

The vast majority care deeply, sometimes they simply need guidance.

Guilt Is One of The Most Common Emotions I Encounter

If I had to choose one emotion that appears more often than almost any other, it would probably be guilt.

Many owners assume that if their dog has developed a behaviour problem, they must have done something wrong.

They tell me they should have socialised more, trained more, exercised more, recognised the signs earlier, or handled situations differently. Some feel guilty because they work long hours. Others feel guilty because they adopted a dog without fully understanding the challenges involved. Many carry a constant feeling that they have somehow failed.

The truth is usually far more complicated.

Dogs are influenced by genetics, health, early experiences, learning history, environment, and countless other factors. Behaviour is rarely the result of a single mistake or decision.

What I have learned is that guilt rarely helps either the owner or the dog – understanding does.

When people stop asking, “Whose fault is this?” and start asking, “Why is this happening?” they often begin making real progress.

Behaviour Is Usually the Tip of The Iceberg

One of the themes I explore in my book Reactive to Regulated is the idea that behaviour often makes more sense when we understand emotional state.

The same lesson applies to people.

When a dog is barking, lunging, growling, or struggling to cope, we are seeing behaviour. What we are not always seeing are the emotions, experiences, and internal processes driving that behaviour.

People are often no different. The angry client may actually be frightened. The frustrated owner may be overwhelmed. The person who insists they have tried everything may simply be exhausted. The individual who appears defensive may be worried about being judged.

One of the most valuable lessons dogs have taught me is that behaviour is often the visible part of a much larger story. If we focus only on what is happening on the surface, we risk misunderstanding what is really going on underneath.

People Need Hope More Than They Need Information

When I first began working professionally with dogs, I assumed my role was primarily to provide information, and train dogs.

I thought that if I could explain enough concepts, deliver enough knowledge, and create the perfect training plan, everything else would naturally follow.

Over time, my perspective changed. Information is important, but many people already know far more than they think they do.

Most owners understand that consistency matters. Most understand that training takes time. Most understand that dogs require patience.

What many people struggle with is not a lack of information. It is a lack of belief that things can improve.

The moment an owner sees genuine progress, even a small amount, something shifts. Their confidence grows. Their relationship with their dog changes. They begin to look forward rather than backwards.

Hope is an incredibly powerful thing. In many cases, it is the thing that allows people to keep going when progress feels slow.

We Learn Best When We Feel Safe

Another lesson that appears repeatedly in both dogs and humans is that learning becomes much harder when stress becomes overwhelming.

A highly stressed dog struggles to process information. A highly stressed human often does too.

This is one reason I have become increasingly interested in emotional regulation, both in dogs and in the people who care for them. Learning is not simply about information. It is about creating the conditions in which learning becomes possible.

People learn more effectively when they feel understood rather than judged. Dogs learn more effectively when they feel safe rather than threatened. The principle is remarkably similar.

Whether we are talking about a reactive dog or a worried owner, progress tends to happen when pressure decreases and understanding increases.

Progress Is Almost Never Linear

One of the most unrealistic expectations people have is that improvement should happen in a straight line.

We love stories of transformation, we love before-and-after photographs, and we love dramatic success stories. TV often portrays dog training in this way.

Real life is usually messier. Dogs improve, then have a setback. Owners gain confidence, then experience doubt. A breakthrough is followed by a difficult week.

This is not failure. It is simply how progress often looks.

The owners who achieve the greatest long-term success are rarely the ones who experience no difficulties. More often, they are the people who accept that setbacks are part of the process and continue moving forward regardless.

Resilience matters far more than perfection.

Relationships Matter More Than Techniques

The dog training industry spends a great deal of time discussing methods.

People debate reinforcement, corrections, leadership, management, food rewards, equipment, and training systems. These discussions have value, and methods certainly matter.

However, after working with more than 1,000 dogs, I have become increasingly convinced that the quality of the relationship between the dog and the owner matters more than any individual technique.

Dogs are remarkably adaptable. They do not require perfect owners or flawless training plans.

What they need is consistency, communication, patience, and trust. When those foundations are present, many other pieces begin to fall into place.

The strongest transformations I have witnessed have often occurred not because somebody discovered a magical technique, but because they developed a better understanding of the dog standing in front of them.

Dogs Often Bring Out the Best in People

Perhaps the most surprising lesson of all is that dogs have an extraordinary ability to help people grow.

I have seen people become more patient because of a difficult dog. I have seen people become more resilient because of the challenges they faced together. I have seen people become more empathetic, more observant, more emotionally aware, and more understanding.

Not because somebody taught them those qualities directly, but because a dog required them.

The relationship between humans and dogs is often described in terms of what we teach our dogs. We teach them how to live in our homes, how to navigate our world, and how to behave appropriately within it.

Yet after more than a decade working with dogs, I sometimes think the relationship works both ways.

Dogs teach us patience. They teach us consistency. They teach us forgiveness. They teach us to focus on what matters.

And perhaps most importantly, they remind us that progress is not about perfection. It is about showing up, day after day, and continuing to move forward together.

For all the things I have learned about dogs over the years, the greatest lesson may simply be this:

People are often far kinder, more resilient, and more capable than they give themselves credit for.

Sometimes it just takes a dog to help them discover it.

When I first started working with dogs, I thought I was entering a profession focused on canine behaviour. I imagined that most of my time would be spent learning about dogs, studying dogs, observing dogs, and helping dogs overcome behavioural challenges. In many ways that has proven to be true. Over the past decade I have worked with hundreds of dogs, read extensively across the field, attended countless courses, and spent thousands of hours observing behaviour in all its forms.

What I did not expect was how much working with dogs would change my understanding of people.

Looking back now, one of the biggest surprises of my career has been realising that dog behaviour and human behaviour are often far more interconnected than most people imagine. The lessons that have reshaped my understanding of dogs have frequently reshaped my understanding of humans at the same time. The assumptions I once held about learning, behaviour, motivation, confidence, discipline, emotion, and change have all evolved, sometimes dramatically.

In many ways, working with dogs has become an ongoing education in how living beings function, regardless of species.

I Used to Think Behaviour Was the Problem

One of the biggest shifts in my thinking has been moving away from the idea that behaviour itself is the problem.

Like many people entering the field, I initially focused on what I could see. A dog barked, lunged, pulled, jumped, ignored a recall cue, guarded a resource, or reacted aggressively. The behaviour was obvious, measurable, and impossible to ignore. Naturally it became the focus of attention.

Over time I began to realise that behaviour is often the final chapter of a story rather than the first.

The behaviour itself is usually the visible expression of something deeper. Stress, frustration, fear, excitement, anticipation, confusion, insecurity, overstimulation, and emotional state all influence what eventually emerges on the surface. The barking, lunging, or pulling may be the moment that captures our attention, but the conditions that created that behaviour were often developing long beforehand.

What surprised me even more was discovering that the same principle applies remarkably well to humans.

People often focus on visible actions while overlooking the emotional and environmental factors that produced them. We judge behaviour without fully understanding context. We see outcomes without recognising the process that created them.

The longer I have worked with dogs, the more convinced I have become that behaviour is information rather than simply a problem to be solved.

I Used to Think Knowledge Changed Behaviour

Another belief that has changed significantly is the idea that knowledge automatically creates change.

When I first began helping owners, I assumed that if people understood what to do, they would naturally do it. If I explained a concept clearly enough, demonstrated the right technique, or provided a sensible training plan, success would inevitably follow. Reality proved far more complicated.

Many owners understood exactly what needed to happen. They could explain the process perfectly. They could describe triggers, thresholds, reinforcement, and management strategies. Yet understanding alone did not always translate into implementation. The same thing happens in human life.

Most people already know they should exercise more, sleep better, manage stress, and make healthier choices. Information is rarely the limiting factor. Behavioural change depends upon something much more complex than knowledge alone.

This observation fundamentally altered how I think about both dogs and people. Learning is not simply about acquiring information. It is about creating conditions in which change becomes possible.

I Used to Think Confidence Came First

For many years I believed confidence created action. What I repeatedly observed, however, was that confidence often follows action rather than preceding it.

Many owners wait until they feel confident before attempting new skills with their dogs. They want certainty before trying something unfamiliar. They want reassurance before stepping outside their comfort zone.

Dogs often behave similarly. They become more confident through successful experiences rather than through waiting to feel confident.

The same pattern appears throughout life. Confidence is frequently the result of competence, repetition, and experience rather than the starting point.

This realisation changed how I approach both training and personal development. Instead of trying to create confidence directly, I focus more on creating opportunities for success.

Confidence tends to emerge naturally afterwards.

I Used to Think More Was Better

Perhaps one of the most significant lessons I have learned concerns the relationship between effort and progress.

Earlier in my career, I often assumed that more training, more exposure, more exercise, more practice, and more activity would naturally produce better outcomes. Sometimes it did. Often it did not.

Many dogs improved not because we increased stimulation but because we reduced it. They improved not because they were exposed to more challenges but because they were given opportunities to recover from existing challenges. Progress frequently emerged through regulation rather than intensity. The same lesson applies to people.

Modern life often encourages us to do more, consume more information, work harder, push further, and remain constantly productive. Yet some of the greatest improvements in wellbeing, performance, and learning come from rest, reflection, and recovery.

The nervous system does not thrive under constant pressure. Dogs taught me that long before I fully appreciated it in my own life.

I Used to Think the Best Trainers Had the Best Techniques

One of the biggest surprises of my career has been discovering that technical knowledge is only one part of successful behaviour change.

The most effective trainers I have encountered are rarely distinguished solely by techniques. Instead, they possess exceptional observational skills. They notice subtle details. They recognise patterns. They understand timing. They appreciate emotional state. They remain curious rather than dogmatic.

Over time I became less interested in collecting techniques and more interested in understanding principles. Techniques change. Principles endure.

The same is true across many professions. The individuals who create lasting impact are often not those with the largest collection of tools but those with the deepest understanding of why those tools work.

I Have Become More Interested in Regulation Than Control

If there is one theme that has become increasingly central to my thinking, it is the distinction between control and regulation.

Much of traditional training focuses on controlling behaviour. The objective is often to stop, prevent, suppress, or redirect unwanted actions.

While control certainly has its place, I have become far more interested in regulation.

A dog that is genuinely regulated requires less control. A dog that is emotionally stable makes better decisions naturally. A dog whose nervous system is functioning well often becomes easier to live with, easier to teach, and easier to guide. The same principle applies to humans.

Many of the challenges people face are not caused by a lack of intelligence, knowledge, or willpower. They are often influenced by stress, overwhelm, emotional state, and nervous system dysregulation.

The more I study behaviour, the more I find myself asking not how to control outcomes but how to create conditions that make positive outcomes more likely.

Dogs Have Made Me More Curious About People

Perhaps the most unexpected change of all is that working with dogs has made me increasingly interested in human behaviour:

• Every dog arrives with a human attached
• Every training plan involves communication
• Every behavioural challenge exists within a relationship

The dog and the owner influence each other continuously.

As a result, studying dogs inevitably becomes a study of people as well. It becomes a study of emotions, habits, expectations, fears, beliefs, motivations, and relationships.

The longer I work in this field, the less interested I become in simple explanations and the more interested I become in understanding complexity.

The Biggest Lesson of All

If there is one lesson that has emerged consistently over the past decade, it is that behaviour makes far more sense when viewed through the lens of understanding rather than judgement.

Dogs behave for reasons. People behave for reasons. Those reasons are not always obvious, but they are usually there.

When we become curious enough to look beyond the behaviour itself, we often discover a much richer and more useful explanation than we initially expected.

That shift in perspective has changed the way I work with dogs, the way I work with people, and the way I understand behaviour itself.

And after more than a decade in this profession, that may be the most valuable lesson dogs have taught me.

One of the reasons I wanted to write Reactive to Regulated is because reactive behaviour is often misunderstood.

Owners frequently describe their dog as stubborn, dominant, disobedient, or deliberately ignoring them. In reality, many reactive dogs are simply struggling to cope with the situation they find themselves in.

When a dog is barking, lunging, growling, or becoming overwhelmed, it is easy to focus entirely on the behaviour itself. However, behaviour does not occur in isolation. Every behaviour is influenced by a combination of genetics, learning history, emotional state, environmental factors, and the dog’s perception of what is happening around them.

This is why two dogs can encounter the same situation and respond completely differently.

One dog may remain relaxed and engaged with their owner, another may become anxious, frustrated, or reactive. Understanding the difference is often the first step towards meaningful change.

Why Dog Owners Receive So Much Conflicting Advice

The dog training world contains many different schools of thought.

Owners may be told to use food, avoid food, correct behaviour, ignore behaviour, increase structure, provide more freedom, increase socialisation, reduce socialisation, or any number of other approaches.

Many of these recommendations contain elements of truth, but they are often presented as complete solutions when behaviour is usually far more complex.

Over the years, I have spent thousands of hours studying canine behaviour and working with dogs displaying a wide range of behavioural challenges. Throughout that process, I became increasingly interested in the question:

What are the common principles that sit beneath successful behaviour change?

One of the conclusions I repeatedly returned to was that emotional state matters.

• Dogs learn differently when they are calm than when they are overwhelmed
• They make different decisions
• They process information differently
• And they respond differently to training

A Practical Framework Rather Than a Quick Fix

The purpose of Reactive to Regulated is not to provide a collection of shortcuts or quick fixes.

Instead, the book aims to provide a framework for understanding behaviour.

By understanding why behaviour occurs, owners are better equipped to make informed decisions, adapt training to the individual dog, and create long-term change.

The book combines practical experience, behavioural science, learning theory, neuroscience, and real-world case studies to create a structured approach that can be applied across a wide range of behavioural challenges.

Rather than focusing solely on stopping unwanted behaviour, the emphasis is placed on developing calmer, more resilient, and more emotionally regulated dogs.

Who Is This Book For?

This book was written for:

• Owners living with reactive dogs
• Owners experiencing frustration, anxiety, or behavioural challenges
• Trainers and behaviour professionals looking to broaden their understanding
• Rescue and welfare organisations
• Anyone interested in canine behaviour and learning

Whether your dog struggles with barking, lunging, over-arousal, frustration, anxiety, or simply finds aspects of everyday life difficult, the principles explored within the book are designed to help create a clearer understanding of what may be happening beneath the surface.

Learn More

For owners, trainers, behaviour professionals, and anyone interested in understanding canine behaviour more deeply, Reactive to Regulated explores these ideas in greater detail and provides practical strategies for helping dogs become calmer, more confident, and more emotionally regulated.

The book examines the underlying causes of reactive behaviour, the role of emotional state in learning and decision-making, and practical approaches for creating meaningful and lasting behavioural change.

📖 Purchase the book on Amazon
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0H4BQDZ7Q

📰 Read the press coverage
https://ipsnews.net/business/2026/06/19/oxford-based-dog-behaviour-specialist-publishes-new-book-challenging-traditional-approaches-to-dog-reactivity/

About the Author

Anthony is the founder of Oxford Dog Training Company and author of Reactive to Regulated: A Calm, Clear and Controlled Approach to Dog Reactivity.

Over the course of his career, Anthony has worked with thousands of dogs and accumulated over a decade of practical experience helping owners address behavioural challenges including reactivity, aggression, anxiety, frustration, over-arousal, and impulse-control issues.

Drawing on behavioural science, learning theory, neuroscience, and extensive real-world case experience, Anthony’s work focuses on helping dogs become calmer, more confident, and better equipped to cope with the demands of everyday life.

Through one-to-one consultations, educational programmes, writing, and public outreach, he continues to promote a deeper understanding of canine behaviour and the relationship between emotional state, learning, and lasting behavioural change.

Sustainability is becoming a bigger part of how we live our lives. From reusable coffee cups to cutting down on single-use plastics, many of us are trying to reduce our impact on the environment.

But one area that’s often overlooked is pet ownership.

Dogs bring huge amounts of joy into our lives, but they also come with a surprising environmental footprint — from food packaging and plastic toys to waste disposal and travel. The good news is, you don’t need to overhaul your entire lifestyle to make a difference.

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about making small, practical changes that add up over time.

Mindful Food Choices

One of the biggest environmental impacts of owning a dog comes from what we feed them.

Buying food in bulk is one of the simplest ways to reduce packaging waste. Larger bags mean fewer plastic packages overall, and many suppliers now offer recyclable or more sustainable options. For those who want to go a step further, preparing some of your dog’s meals at home can reduce packaging even further — as well as giving you full control over ingredients.

There are also an increasing number of dog food brands focusing on sustainability, whether through responsibly sourced ingredients or environmentally conscious packaging. It’s worth doing a bit of research here, as the options are improving all the time.

Even treats can be reconsidered. Choosing products with recyclable or compostable packaging — or making simple treats at home — is an easy win.

Eco-Friendly Waste Management

Dog waste is unavoidable, but how we deal with it can make a difference.

Not all “eco” poop bags are created equal. Many so-called biodegradable bags still require specific conditions to break down and won’t decompose properly in landfill. If you’re looking to make a change, aim for genuinely compostable bags that meet recognised standards.

Some owners choose to compost dog waste, but this needs to be done carefully. Dog waste should never be added to standard garden compost used for growing food, and specialist systems are required to do it safely.

There are also dedicated pet waste disposal systems and, in some cases, options to flush waste (where local regulations allow), all of which can reduce the amount ending up in landfill.

Sustainable Toys and Gear

Dogs don’t need endless new toys — but the pet industry often encourages exactly that.

Choosing toys made from natural materials such as cotton, hemp, or wool is a good place to start. These tend to break down more easily than plastic alternatives and are often safer if chewed.

Durability matters too. A well-made toy that lasts is always better than repeatedly replacing cheap ones.

You can also get creative. Old t-shirts, socks, and fabric scraps can easily be turned into tug toys or enrichment items. Not only does this reduce waste, but many dogs enjoy them just as much as shop-bought options.

Minimalist Grooming and Cleaning

Grooming products are another area where small changes can have an impact.

Refillable or low-packaging shampoos are becoming more widely available, and switching to simple tools like bamboo brushes can reduce plastic use. Even small swaps, like choosing longer-lasting, well-made grooming tools, make a difference over time.

When it comes to cleaning up after your dog, natural cleaning products can reduce the number of harsh chemicals entering the environment — while still doing the job effectively.

Thoughtful Healthcare and Vet Visits

Sustainability doesn’t stop when it comes to your dog’s health.

Where possible, it’s worth speaking to your vet about environmentally conscious options, whether that’s packaging, medication choices, or alternatives that reduce waste. Not every situation will allow for flexibility, but being aware of the options is a good place to start.

Another simple habit is avoiding overbuying. Stockpiling medications or supplements that may expire leads to unnecessary waste, both financially and environmentally.

Adoption and Rescues: The Ultimate Sustainable Choice

If you’re considering bringing a dog into your life, adoption is one of the most sustainable choices you can make.

By adopting, you’re giving a home to a dog that already exists, rather than contributing to further demand for breeding. It also supports shelters and rescues that are often under significant pressure.

Even if adoption isn’t right for you, fostering or supporting local rescue organisations is a meaningful way to contribute.

Walking and Travel — The Sustainable Way

One of the simplest ways to reduce your dog’s environmental impact is also one of the most beneficial: walk more, drive less.

Local walks not only cut down on emissions, but also tend to be more enriching and consistent for your dog. When you do travel, small changes help — carrying a reusable water bottle and collapsible bowl, for example, avoids single-use plastics.

There’s also a growing range of eco-friendly travel gear, from biodegradable wipes to more sustainable accessories, making it easier than ever to make better choices.

Community and Advocacy

Sustainability becomes far more powerful when it’s shared.

Supporting local, eco-conscious pet shops helps drive demand for better products. Connecting with other dog owners who are trying to reduce their impact can also provide ideas and encouragement.

And as awareness grows, so does influence. The more owners ask questions and seek sustainable options, the more the industry is pushed to respond.

Conclusion

Owning a dog will always have an environmental impact — but that doesn’t mean we can’t reduce it.

From choosing better food options and switching to compostable poop bags, to reusing materials for toys and being more mindful about what we buy, small changes can make a real difference.

You don’t need to do everything at once.

Start with one change. Then another.

Because when it comes to sustainability, progress matters far more than perfection.

How Dogs React to the Loss of Another Dog or Human — And How We Can Help Them

One of the most emotionally difficult experiences for any owner is watching a dog change after the loss of another dog or a human family member.

Some dogs become withdrawn and quiet. Others become anxious, clingy, unsettled, reactive, or behaviourally unpredictable. Appetite may change. Sleep patterns may change. Some begin pacing the house or waiting at doors and windows, seemingly expecting someone to return. Others appear emotionally “flat,” as though part of their normal personality has disappeared.

For years, discussion around grief in dogs has tended to fall into two extremes. Either dogs were viewed as incapable of experiencing emotional loss at all, or they were treated as grieving in exactly the same way humans do. In reality, the truth is likely somewhere between the two.

Dogs almost certainly do not process death philosophically in the same abstract way humans do. However, from both behavioural observation and practical experience working with dogs, it is very clear that many dogs experience genuine emotional and behavioural disruption following the loss of a bonded companion.

The important thing is understanding why.

Dogs Are Deeply Social Animals

Dogs are not simply animals who happen to live alongside humans and other dogs. Over time, they build emotional familiarity around:

• routines
• movement
• scent
• sound
• behavioural predictability
• and social interaction.

A bonded dog or human often becomes part of the dog’s wider emotional regulation system itself.

In many households, dogs are constantly co-regulating with both humans and other dogs. One dog may provide confidence outdoors, emotional reassurance indoors, social buffering, or simply predictability. The same is true of humans. Dogs become deeply accustomed to the rhythms of specific individuals — their tone of voice, walking patterns, emotional energy, and daily routines.

When that individual suddenly disappears, many dogs struggle not simply because somebody is absent, but because the structure of their emotional world has changed.

What Grief Can Look Like in Dogs

Dogs respond to loss very differently from one another.

Some appear only mildly affected externally, while others show dramatic behavioural changes.

Common responses can include:

• searching behaviour
• waiting at doors or windows
• increased vocalisation
• clinginess
• withdrawal
• lethargy
• reduced appetite
• pacing
• disrupted sleep
• anxiety
• hypervigilance
• or increased reactivity.

In multi-dog households, it is also common to see major changes in social dynamics after one dog dies. A previously confident dog may suddenly become insecure. A quieter dog may become more reactive. Some dogs lose confidence outdoors entirely after the loss of a canine companion they relied upon socially.

Importantly, dogs do not need a human-like understanding of death itself to experience distress.

Behaviourally, what matters is:

• the loss of attachment
• the disappearance of predictability
• and the emotional destabilisation that follows.

The Human Emotional Environment Matters Too

One of the biggest overlooked aspects of grief in dogs is that they are often responding not only to absence, but also to the emotional state of surviving humans.

When humans are grieving heavily, household routines frequently collapse unintentionally. Walks become inconsistent, engagement reduces, emotional tension increases, and predictability disappears.

Dogs are extremely sensitive to these changes.

They notice:

• movement
• tone
• tension
• behavioural shifts
• emotional intensity
• and changes in routine far more than many people realise.

As a result, some grieving dogs are reacting both to:

• the loss itself
  and
• the emotionally unstable environment that follows it.

This is not criticism of grieving owners. It is simply important behavioural context.

The Mistake Many Owners Accidentally Make

One of the most common human responses after loss is emotional flooding.

Owners often begin:

• excessive reassurance
• frantic affection
• constant fussing
• emotional over-engagement
• or removing all structure and boundaries.

While understandable, this can unintentionally increase anxiety and nervous-system instability in sensitive dogs.

Dogs generally recover best through:

• calmness
• predictability
• emotional steadiness
• structure
• and gentle engagement.

That does not mean becoming emotionally cold or detached. Affection and connection remain extremely important. However, the most helpful humans for grieving dogs are usually the ones who become emotionally safe and behaviourally predictable during a period of instability.

Why Routine and Structure Matter So Much

One of the most powerful things owners can provide after loss is predictability.

Regular walks, calm feeding routines, familiar rituals, structured engagement, and behavioural consistency help many dogs regain emotional stability.

Dogs often recover better when life becomes understandable again.

This is particularly important in:

• anxious dogs
• emotionally sensitive dogs
• highly attachment-driven dogs
• and dogs who already struggle with emotional regulation.

Calm structure helps reduce uncertainty, which in turn helps reduce nervous-system stress.

Engagement Matters More Than “Keeping Them Busy”

Many owners understandably try to distract grieving dogs with stimulation and excitement. Others withdraw engagement entirely because they themselves are struggling emotionally.

Neither extreme is usually ideal.

What many dogs benefit from most is calm, structured involvement.

This may include:

• decompression walks
• scent work
• calm training exercises
• gentle social interaction
• slower exploratory walks
• and opportunities for relaxed engagement with humans.

The goal is not simply distraction from grief.

The goal is helping the dog regain:

• emotional stability
• behavioural flexibility
• and nervous-system regulation.

Nervous Systems, Stress, and Emotional Recovery

Grief and stress affect dogs physiologically as well as behaviourally.

Some dogs lose appetite entirely. Others become increasingly fixated on food, stimulation, or human attention. Emotional stress can significantly affect:

• impulse control
• arousal levels
• recovery speed
• behavioural flexibility
• and emotional regulation.

A chronically stressed nervous system struggles to settle properly.

This is why supporting the parasympathetic nervous system — the calmer, restorative side of the nervous system — can be extremely valuable during periods of grief or emotional disruption.

Calm routines, chewing, licking, slower walks, rest, reduced environmental chaos, and emotionally steady interaction can all help support recovery.

Should Dogs See a Deceased Companion?

One question owners often ask is whether dogs should be allowed to see or smell a deceased companion.

Scientifically, evidence here remains limited, and certainty should be avoided. However, some owners report that allowing a dog to investigate a deceased companion appears to reduce searching behaviour afterward.

Behaviourally, this is plausible. Dogs gather enormous amounts of information through scent, movement, and environmental feedback. Exposure to stillness and the absence of response may help some dogs process environmental change more clearly.

However, dogs vary enormously, and there is no universal rule.

Some appear unaffected.
Some appear distressed.
Some may gain informational clarity.
Others may not.

As with most behavioural questions, context and the individual dog matter greatly.

Final Thoughts

The loss of a bonded dog or human can absolutely affect canine behaviour profoundly.

Not because dogs necessarily understand death in a human philosophical sense, but because attachment, predictability, emotional stability, and social connection matter deeply to them.

When a major social component disappears, many dogs experience genuine emotional and behavioural disruption.

Helping them recover is usually less about “fixing sadness” and more about rebuilding:

• stability
• predictability
• emotional safety
• engagement
• and calm nervous-system regulation.

In my experience, dogs recover best not through emotional intensity, but through calm connection, structure, consistency, and time.

In many ways, healing happens quietly.

Long before the dog outwardly appears “back to normal,” the nervous system is slowly relearning that the world is safe, understandable, and emotionally stable again.

If you’re dealing with a reactive dog, you’ll already know how difficult it can be.

The barking, lunging and pulling can turn a simple walk into something stressful. Many owners start to avoid situations altogether, planning routes, crossing roads, or only going out at quiet times. Over time, it can take the enjoyment out of owning a dog.

Most people try what they’ve been told. They distract with food, correct the behaviour, or try to keep the dog away from anything that might trigger a reaction. Sometimes this helps in the short term, but often the problem keeps coming back.

That’s because most approaches are focused on the behaviour you can see, rather than what is actually driving it.

What Is Dog Reactivity?

Reactivity is not the problem itself, it is a response.

When your dog reacts to another dog, person, or situation, they are responding to how they feel in that moment. That feeling might be fear, frustration, excitement, or a mix of all three.

What matters is that the behaviour is not random, and it is not your dog choosing to be “bad”. It is a predictable outcome of the state they are in.

Why Traditional Reactive Dog Training Often Fails

A lot of reactive dog training focuses on stopping the behaviour as it happens. This might involve correcting the dog, distracting them, or asking for obedience commands in the moment.

The problem is that when a dog is reacting, they are not in a state where they can learn effectively. Their body has already shifted into a survival mode. Everything becomes faster, more intense, and less controlled.

Trying to train a dog in that moment is like trying to teach someone in the middle of a panic response. You might get compliance occasionally, but it will not be stable or reliable.

The Real Cause: Emotional State

At the Oxford Dog Training Company, we approach reactivity differently.

Instead of focusing on stopping behaviour, we focus on changing the state that drives it. Behaviour always follows state. If your dog feels overwhelmed, they will react. If they feel safe, they are far more likely to remain calm.

That is the shift we are aiming to create.

How We Work With Reactive Dogs

The process is structured, but simple in principle.

We start by looking at your dog’s baseline. This includes their daily routine, environment, and overall stress levels. Many reactive dogs are already operating in a heightened state before they even leave the house, which makes calm behaviour very difficult.

From there, we build clear communication through training that suits the individual dog. Only once that foundation is in place do we begin working around other dogs.

Graded Exposure: The Key to Progress

One of the most common mistakes is doing too much, too soon.

Taking a reactive dog into a busy environment and hoping they will get used to it often makes things worse. Instead, we work at a level the dog can handle.

This might mean starting at a distance where your dog can see another dog but remain calm. From there, we gradually reduce that distance over time. This allows your dog to experience the situation without becoming overwhelmed, which is where real learning happens.

Changing the Emotional Response

In the early stages, we use reward to change how your dog feels about the trigger.

Seeing another dog begins to predict something positive, rather than something stressful. This creates a gap in the reaction, where your dog is able to stay calmer and more focused.

Once that gap exists, we build on it. Your dog learns what to do in that situation, not just what to avoid. Over time, this leads to more stable and predictable behaviour.

Real-World Training in Oxford

One of the biggest challenges for owners is taking what they’ve learned and applying it in real life.

That is why our reactive dog training in Oxford focuses on real-world situations. This includes working around other dogs in controlled environments, structured group sessions, and practical scenarios that reflect everyday life.

Our group classes are designed to support this process, allowing dogs to learn around others

What Results Can You Expect?

Every dog is different, and progress will vary.

The goal is not perfection. It is stability. We want your dog to be calmer, more predictable, and easier to manage in everyday situations. That is what makes the biggest difference for both dog and owner.

Reactive Dog Training in Oxford

If you are struggling with a reactive dog in Oxford or the surrounding areas, there is a clear path forward.

It does not rely on quick fixes or forcing behaviour. It comes from understanding your dog properly, working at the right level, and building progress over time.

If you would like help with your dog, you can find more information HERE

One of the most common misunderstandings in dog ownership is surprisingly simple. We often assume that a busy, excited, noisy dog is a happy dog, and that a quiet, low-energy dog is somehow bored, sad, or lacking stimulation. In many cases, the opposite is true.

The Jumpy, Barking Dog

A dog that is constantly jumping, barking, spinning, or demanding attention is often described as “full of life” or “just very happy”.

But from a behavioural perspective, this kind of activity is not always a sign of happiness. It is often a sign of over-arousal.

These dogs can be:

• Unable to settle
• Easily overstimulated
• Reactive to small changes in their environment
• Constantly seeking interaction or stimulation

In some cases, this behaviour is driven by excitement. But very often, it is driven by something closer to anxiety. The dog is not choosing to be energetic, they are struggling to regulate themselves.

The Quiet, Low-Energy Dog

At the other end of the spectrum, a calm dog is often misunderstood.

Owners may worry that their dog is:

• Bored
• Under-stimulated
• Lacking enrichment
• Not “living its best life”

But a dog that can rest, settle, and remain calm in its environment is often demonstrating something far more valuable: emotional stability.

These dogs:

• Recover quickly from stimulation
• Do not feel the need to react to everything
• Can exist comfortably without constant input

In many ways, this is what we should be aiming for – a dog that is calm is not a dog that is missing out. This is often a dog that feels safe.

Where We Go Wrong

Part of the problem is that we view dogs through a human lens.

For humans, excitement often feels like happiness and stillness can feel like boredom – so we project those interpretations onto dogs.

But dogs do not need constant stimulation to feel fulfilled. They need:

• Clarity
• Stability
• Appropriate outlets for their energy
• The ability to switch off

When we misread behaviour, we start to reinforce the wrong things.

We:

• Reward jumping and excitement with attention
• Encourage constant engagement
• Feel guilty when the dog is resting
• Try to “fix” calm behaviour by adding more stimulation

Over time, we can unintentionally create the very problems we later struggle to solve.

Encouraging the Right State

If we want well-balanced dogs, we need to shift our focus. Not just shift it from bad behaviour to good behaviour, but from high arousal to stable emotional regulation.

This means:

• Valuing calmness
• Rewarding stillness
• Allowing dogs to rest without interruption
• Avoiding the urge to constantly stimulate or entertain

It also means recognising that a dog bouncing off the walls is not necessarily thriving. Sometimes, the calmest dog in the room is the one that is coping best with the world.

Final Thought

Good behaviour is not just about what a dog does, it is about the state the dog is in while doing it. A truly happy dog is not one that is constantly excited, it is one that can move between energy and calm with ease, and spend much of its life in a place of quiet stability.